I’ve always been uncomfortable with the concept of a Jesus moment, uncomfortable with it because I didn’t have a time and place that mine took place. So often, it seemed others could recall a specific time that it happened, a time they “gave their heart to Jesus,” an actual moment they could pinpoint. In fact, I thought there must be something wrong with me that I couldn’t isolate a moment that I accepted Christ as my Savior. Was I missing something?
And, even worse, I can’t tell of a time when I was devoid of Christ, a time that I didn’t believe, and what’s more, because others had such a time, I thought maybe I was missing a step. Still, I never had a moment like that because my Jesus always was. I couldn’t think of a time before He was a part of my life.
From the time I started school as a little girl, He was a part of me. From the time I was enrolled in Christian elementary school and then attended every day, Jesus was part of that every day, my every day. Since going to church was every Sunday, my Jesus was there telling me the truths of the Bible and, of course, He was a part of that, a part of me. A prayer to Him came before every meal, and “Now I lay me”…came every night. It was just what we did and it was as natural as breathing. There has never been a moment when Jesus wasn’t part of me.
When I was twelve years old, it was Confirmation class and I learned so much more about Him and His Word. When I had questions there was always someone there to explain it or show me where in the Bible I’d find my answer. When study for Confirmation ended, I was privileged to graduate from that study and because I had, I could now answer my own questions concerning my beliefs, the ones my parents and godparents answered for me when, as a baby, I was baptized. It was an achievement that allowed me to not only be a communicant member of my home church, but now I was entitled to take communion with the adults.
There was never a doubt of where I would go to high school. I would continue by enrolling in a Christian High School. This was a time of growth not just in stature but in the depth of my faith that further study provided. As my high school years inched toward college, I wasn’t sure of what my path would be. But my Jesus spoke to me, whispered to me when I finished the end of my assisting at summer Bible School. As the little ones sang the songs from the Bible School theme that year, I knew.
It ignited a desire in me to be a Christian School teacher. That in turn led me to a Christian college and wonderful years of study and friendships that I still maintain. As a Christian teacher I saw the wonder and joy in the eyes of my students as I shared my Jesus. I saw their amazement when they heard that Jesus could do anything, even the impossible things and then I got to witness their believing in Jesus with a child’s unshakeable faith.
So it seems that, though I can’t state a moment that I chose Jesus, I see many moments when He chose me because, for me, He can’t be limited to the confines of a specific time and place. My Jesus has always been there, always been a part of me, loving me and guiding me…and I’m so glad He has.
Pat Severin, a retired Christian school teacher, lives in Wisconsin. She is an active member of the SCBWI. Her poems have been published in the Agape Review, the Clayjar Review, The Way Back 2 Ourselves and Pure in Heart Stories. Her personal ministry is sending encouraging poems to struggling adults.
Heart of Flesh Literary Journal 