Saint Paul said to Timothy, “…do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord” (2 Timothy 1: 8*). When I read this, I realized that the Lord was asking me to write down my testimony. It is my story about the first time that the Lord revealed His undeniable Holy Presence to me. I did not initiate it. He did. I read God’s Holy Word many times before this encounter, but nothing like this happened to me until this very special night.
It was late, about 11:00 at night. I was living in New York with my family. I was a Junior in high school. I had just finished my homework, and I was very tired, but I decided to read the Bible before going to bed. I was in the habit of just letting the pages of my Bible fall open to wherever God wanted me to read.
This night the pages fell open to Romans, chapter 4. I began reading about how Abraham was justified by faith, and not by his works: “What then can we say that Abraham found, our ancestor according to the flesh? Indeed, if Abraham was justified on the basis of his works, he had reason to boast; but this was not so in the sight of God. For what does scripture say? ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.’ A worker’s wage is credited not as a gift, but as something due” (Romans 4: 1-4).
As I read these words, I felt as if God was speaking directly to my heart. When I read, “justified on the basis of works,” I immediately thought about my homework and my grades. I was trying so hard to please everybody—my parents and my teachers, especially. I had the third highest grade point average in my class of 200 students. I was woefully sleep-deprived from being on the cross-country running team, and trying to keep up with my homework. I was very hard on myself. I realized that I was pleasing everybody else, but I was not happy. No matter how hard I worked, I didn’t feel justified. There was something missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was empty inside, hurting, and lonely.
I was surprised at how the words in the Bible came alive. How did God know that those words would touch me so deeply? I felt like God was with me, full of wisdom, and shedding light on my inmost thoughts.
I read, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” This thought was so freeing! All I had to do was to believe in God! I could still work hard, but it is the Lord who justifies me, and takes care of my righteousness. I didn’t need to carry that burden. In the next Bible verse I read, “A worker’s wage is credited not as a gift, but as something due.” I felt like something was due to me because of all my hard work, however, the concept of a “gift” captured my attention.
I was still in awe about the power of God’s Word when I realized that I was not alone. The Holy Presence of the Lord filled my bedroom, my heart, my mind, and my very soul. I felt God’s love for me like never before. The Lord spoke to my heart so clearly. He said, “I am the same God as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. I am giving you three gifts that you cannot earn. I give you My Love, I give you My Salvation, and I will hold your hand all the days of your life!”
I was stunned. I was smiling from ear to ear, and crying, because God’s Love for me was so strong, and so real! My nose was running, but I couldn’t move to get a tissue. I felt like my legs were paralyzed as I sat on my bed.
A week before this happened, my Christian boyfriend put his hands on my head and prayed for God to become real to me. The Lord answered his prayers!
After awhile, I was able to move my legs and go get a tissue. I was praising God and thanking Him for blessing me with such beautiful gifts. I called my boyfriend, even though it was late, and I told him what happened. The next week I told everyone what happened at the Catholic Charismatic prayer meeting that I attended each week with my mom. This is my testimony. I cannot wipe this smile off my face or erase this joy from my heart for all that the Lord has done for me!
Saint Paul also tells Timothy, “…stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands” (2 Timothy 1: 6). So now, I will stir into flame these gifts, for you. The Lord has shown me many times that the gifts He blesses me with are not just for me. He asks me to give them away. God asks me to give Him away, to share Him.
So, I want you to know that the gifts God gave to me, He is giving to you, too. Yes, God is blessing you with three gifts that you cannot earn. The Lord is blessing you with His Love. The Lord is blessing you with His Salvation. And the Lord will hold your hand all the days of your life! God is blessing you with His Very Self, through His Holy Word, and His Holy Eucharist. Praise the Lord and thank Him! Jesus loves you!
This is my prayer for you: “Oh, Sweet Jesus, please place Your pierced Hands on the heads of all those who believe in You. Merciful Jesus, please make Yourself known to them. May You become real to them! In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen!”
“For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1: 7).
* Bible verses are quoted from NABRE.
V. Paige Parker is married, has five children, and lives in Texas. Paige has an MFA in Creative Writing from UST in Houston. She was a three-time finalist in Catholic Literary Arts poetry contests. Paige’s poems have appeared, or are forthcoming, at Catholic Poetry Room, March 2023 CLA Newsletter, and The Society of Classical Poets.
Heart of Flesh Literary Journal 
Amen! Thank you, Father Phil. Praise God!
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Beautiful recounting of God’s individual care to his daughter. This testimony perhaps is a hint of how we should treat our young ones among us–people who are to be prayed for. Just because they go so far even as to pray, does not mean they have the same relationship with the Lord that we have. May God be greatly increased among us all.!
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